I Am A Horrible Mum

I wrote this over the weekend then changed my mind about posting it as I was worried how people might take it.  I think its important though to be realistic about life as a parent.  Its not all plain sailing. Its not all fun and games. In fact sometimes its down right lousy and can leave you feeling like utter crap. Its important to realise that all Mums have been through it at some point and we all need to support each other and make it ok for people to be open and honest about how hard it can sometimes be. So here goes…..

Today I have been a horrible Mum. I’m not proud of it. In fact I feel heartbroken. Today has been one of  those days where my darling beautiful son has driven me (and half of Ikea) to the brink of insanity.

Today he is tired after an exciting sleepover at Auntie’s house last night. Today he is grouchy as he is full of cold and my God hasn’t he let everyone know  about it.

We walked into Ikea and within moments it began. I’m looking for our number to be called at the customer service desks. As I glance round, all of the cushions from the waiting area benches have suddenly vanished. “That boy has taken all the cushions” I hear a small child say to his Mum. That boy was my boy. After a wrestling match that WWE fans would have been proud of, I finally manage to return the cushions to their benches and rapidly remove ‘that boy’ from the area.

We head over to the touch screens to search for the items we are hoping to purchase. Only every time we get close, a little finger appears from nowhere and taps randomly over the screen sending our product search all over the place. Not just once. Oh no. This has become too good a game. Picking him up I hold him in a vice grip so he can’t reach the screen and he screeches at the top of his voice for all to hear. And I look like a horrible Mum. Product search abandoned. Let’s get some food.

Stood in the queue for hot dogs and  meatballs to keep us going on our trek round the Ikea showrooms, he spots the doughnuts. I say no he can’t have one. And he screams. I am a horrible Mum. He screams and cries for the next 25 minutes while we try to eat until I abandon him with Daddy and go back to the queue (which by now is half a mile long ) to get a drink. I’d have preferred something stronger but coca cola will have to do. I go back to the table and he’s whinging that he doesn’t want his hotdog. Daddy takes a bite and suddenly he’s screaming because he wanted that hotdog.

“There’s space in the creche?” I say hopefully. I am a horrible Mum.  “No he’ll be fine.” Famous last words.

We head up to the show rooms and the real fun begins. So many things to touch, so many places to run, so many places to hide. We hand out stern warnings in that ‘don’t frickin mess with me’ voice saved for public areas when you really are ready to lose it but try desperately to hold it together and look like you are in control. And then I said it. “That’s it. Enough is enough. You’re not going to your friend’s birthday party this afternoon”. I am a horrible Mum. I am a horrible mum because he has been so excited about that party. And his little friend has been so excited about him coming to her party. And I feel awful. I am a horrible Mum but I have to make a stand.

Amid hysterical tears and tantrums we pay and leave as quickly as possible  (much to the relief of the Ikea staff I am sure) and get in the car. He falls asleep. I knew he was tired. I am such a horrible Mum.

He sleeps all the way home and I message the birthday girl’s mum to let her know we wont make it. He is too tired and grumpy. I am a horrible Mum.

At dinner he’s perked up and seems in a better mood but the devil is in him once again. He sits swinging his legs and repeatedly kicking the chair next to him. I ask him politely to stop and he does. For a second. Then he grins and carries on. I tell him again to stop. He doesn’t.  I warn him there will be no pudding unless he stops. He doesnt. “Right, no pudding.”  More screaming. You see its not just any pudding. It’s the apple crumble made by his big sister that they’ve been so looking forward to trying and his favourite custard. But I don’t give in. We eat our pudding and ignore his screams. I am a horrible Mum.

You see my darling boy, you have to learn boundaries. You have to understand that certain behaviour is not acceptable and it is my job to teach you right from wrong. There are times you will think I am a horrible Mum but please know that it is for your own good, because I want you to grow into a wonderful person.  I hope one day you will understand. I am a horrible Mum, but I love you unconditionally, with all my heart, tantrums and all xxx

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Mummy Times Two

 

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12 thoughts on “I Am A Horrible Mum

  1. Honest Mum says:

    You are not a horrible mum, far from it, you are guiding your son and are a fabulous mum. This will help other mums realise how normal it is for kids to test boundaries and how hard parenting can be, thank you for writing it x

    Like

  2. Kel says:

    You might feel like a horrible mum, but you AREN’T! You are doing the best thing for him by letting him know about boundaries and consequences. I think most of us feel some guilt every day at some point, when we snap at the kids, or deny them a treat, or send them to their room. But we’re all just muddling through the best we can and when we successfully raise decent human beings, it’s all worth it! #postsfromtheheart

    Like

  3. Mom Of Two Little Girls says:

    Wow! You did great! You certainly kept your patience far better than I would have done and I’m glad you stuck to your word. So many people threaten and don’t follow through. He will remember the lesson next time. Well done horrible mum.
    #PostsFromTheHeart

    Like

  4. RaisieBay says:

    You are one of the least horrible mum’s I have ever read. Setting boundaries are important and your son will learn lots from you. We’ve all been there, kid’s can drive you to distraction sometimes. x
    #PostsFromTheHeart

    Like

  5. imummyblog says:

    Nah… you’re not a horrible mum. You sound just like me! Unless i’m a horrible mum?
    Jokes aside. You are being the best parent you can be, your kids don’t have to like you but they do need to respect you. Keep doing as you are doing. x #postsfromtheheart

    Like

  6. mrshsfavouritethings says:

    You are not a horrible mum. You are a great mum. And like all of us you have days when your kids push you a little too far. We’ve all had times when are children are being a nightmare in public and try anything to get them to calm down. It doesn’t make you a horrible mum. It just makes you a mum. Hugs Lucy xxxx Popping over very belatedly (after having a house filled with illness) from #PostsfromtheHeart xxxx

    Like

  7. Helen @Talking_Mums says:

    You are certainly not a horrible mum. In situations like this (if it was my child) I feel like everyone is watching and judging. But when it’s somebody else’s child I can’t help but glance over, not judging but sympathising and wondering if it would be inappropriate to give the mum a big hug!
    #PostsFromTheHeart

    Like

  8. mindyourmamma says:

    Aww – you’re not a horrible mum at all! And I’m super impressed that you actually didn’t send him to the birthday party – I would have probably said that too, but then sent him anyway (maybe that’s where I’m going wrong!) We’ve all been there. And I think everyone is staring at me thinking I’m a horrible mum. But if they’re anything like me, they’re just feeling relieved that it’s not just them!!! Thanks for posting it in the end! #postsfromtheheart

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